& i heard the first bus zoom past.

it's 0541 and I'm still awake.
i can't seem to fall asleep.
knowing perfectly and clearly that if i don't go sleep now, tmr i would be absolutely shagged. to think that i'd be chiong-ing hp101 report draft tmr. I wonder how.

making the earlier post just triggered the string of thoughts about you.
the things you would say, the company i had. the company i once thought i adored.
suddenly the feeling of me being the bad person was stronger than ever.

remorse.

hah.
& the funniest thing for me to say is that,
i don't think i will have feelings for anyone anymore. not in the near future at least.
back tracked the past entries, i realised how naive and insensitive i was. thought that i'd be able to handle my feelings better now, was my biggest mistake. maturity doesn't come with age. it comes with experience. & i've got no right, non at all, to mention any of the two.

probably don't understand what i mean now, no point pursuing cause i won't tell.

just, remorse.
to both of you. one in the past, another way in the past.