Sometimes life can be so very stiffling. Even though we have the many comforts that many others elsewhere lack, we never seem to be satisfied. Satisfaction seemed momentary, when we seem to get what we want, at one particular time, we yearn for something more.
At the age of nineteen, I should be happy with whatever I have. Great family, great friends. So far, life has been sorta fine for me. I worry about the future, about possible money issues, about how I should handle certain emotions about so many many many things an adolescent like me experience. But like I said, I am so not satisfied, I'm still one hellurva angry teen, with so much grudge against the smallest issues that I am sure as I mature with years to come, looking back would be hilarious reminiscence.
Right now, I'm feeling extremely perturbed by the fact that the laptop I'm using in blogging this entry seemed to be owned by my sister. Something that was supposed to be shared btwn the both of us. Buying this gadget was meant for both of us to better and facilitate our studies, or so my dad thought. Bugged by my sister to the ends of nowhere in particular, he bought this thing using his bonus which could be better allocated. I felt so sorry for my sis's immature and rash desires sometimes, even though I badly want it as well. I never seem to be the one at home who asks for expensive stuff not cause I need it, but cause I want it. It seems that rationale thinking prevents me from indulging unnecessary, becoming the good daughter I am, filial in the sense I do not want my parents to spend unnecessarily. Such sacrifice of desires that could be fulfilled at times may seem to be admirable, it makes me feel that I'm bloody pathetic. It seems to make my sister look down on me, like I'm that weak sister who can pushed over very easily. It ain't nice. Especially in times where I felt I was treated like thrash in front of her friends, and even house guests. It's pathetic really. See? the smallest of things I get angry over, the simplest of matters that really are actually insignificant to the major problems the world faces today are at the heart of what I am disturbed by. My life is pathetic. I am self centred. I guess most ple at my age are. We all think for ourselves, Live for ourselves, Care only for ourselves. Our concern for others are essentially motivated by our desires to keep them close to us. And as time goes by, we began to indoctrinate ourselves that we trully care for them, and I'm not saying I don't and that my concern is superficial and self motivated now. At least that's how I feel sometimes, truth to be told.
I don't know what I'm really rambling about. Seriously. Do you?
Anyways, I gotta actively campaign my products sold on our webby. HEH.
http://le-littleshop.livejournal.com
here is one item that you can find from our lil' venture:
At the age of nineteen, I should be happy with whatever I have. Great family, great friends. So far, life has been sorta fine for me. I worry about the future, about possible money issues, about how I should handle certain emotions about so many many many things an adolescent like me experience. But like I said, I am so not satisfied, I'm still one hellurva angry teen, with so much grudge against the smallest issues that I am sure as I mature with years to come, looking back would be hilarious reminiscence.
Right now, I'm feeling extremely perturbed by the fact that the laptop I'm using in blogging this entry seemed to be owned by my sister. Something that was supposed to be shared btwn the both of us. Buying this gadget was meant for both of us to better and facilitate our studies, or so my dad thought. Bugged by my sister to the ends of nowhere in particular, he bought this thing using his bonus which could be better allocated. I felt so sorry for my sis's immature and rash desires sometimes, even though I badly want it as well. I never seem to be the one at home who asks for expensive stuff not cause I need it, but cause I want it. It seems that rationale thinking prevents me from indulging unnecessary, becoming the good daughter I am, filial in the sense I do not want my parents to spend unnecessarily. Such sacrifice of desires that could be fulfilled at times may seem to be admirable, it makes me feel that I'm bloody pathetic. It seems to make my sister look down on me, like I'm that weak sister who can pushed over very easily. It ain't nice. Especially in times where I felt I was treated like thrash in front of her friends, and even house guests. It's pathetic really. See? the smallest of things I get angry over, the simplest of matters that really are actually insignificant to the major problems the world faces today are at the heart of what I am disturbed by. My life is pathetic. I am self centred. I guess most ple at my age are. We all think for ourselves, Live for ourselves, Care only for ourselves. Our concern for others are essentially motivated by our desires to keep them close to us. And as time goes by, we began to indoctrinate ourselves that we trully care for them, and I'm not saying I don't and that my concern is superficial and self motivated now. At least that's how I feel sometimes, truth to be told.
I don't know what I'm really rambling about. Seriously. Do you?
Anyways, I gotta actively campaign my products sold on our webby. HEH.
http://le-littleshop.livejournal.com
here is one item that you can find from our lil' venture:
posted by shu at
5/07/2006 06:05:00 PM
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